A Cloudless Night and A Starless Midnight

haha, today, attending rebecca's birthday party, haha

at first still very semangat and play like an idiot. haha after a short while, i duno why i like totally moodless, and i duno what i really wanna do at that moment, haha. i keep thinking and thinking and i look at the sky also, haha, time passes very fast.... and i manage to see a cloudless night and a starless midnight... haha if you notice, tonight only have 2 stars on the sky, 1 is bright while another is dimm. haha.. duno what does it mean also...sobz sobz

just so out of mood and really dun feel like playing at 1 moment, duno what happened also..haha
i try to drown myself with all my problems and i really duno what to do.... haiz..... until i sing out loud, haha. i really felt better after singing, some ppl say happy is the best medicine. haha when i sing i feel happy, and all my problems like sudden gone. haha. really feel so nice....sobz

many ppl keep comfort me but they duno what's happening cause myself also duno what is happening. haha. how could they know when myself dun even know....i just so mood out until i blog now. haha. i keep looking at the sky, like looking at my own past, everything keep flashing back. i duno why i've done so many idiot mistakes that i shouldn't do.

my mom said, our life's short. how many 10 years can you live?? i lived for only 1 10 years. causing so many problems d.... always argue with friends and fight with friends. my mom also said, meeting a friend is my fate. i should appreciate it cause we're arranged to meet each other. after thinking a short while, i think maybe i should think that way, i have so many friends caring for me. but duno la, sometimes some friends really make me like high blood pressure, headache and stuff. sometimes i really worry bout their life or rather future. they keep acting in a way that is abnormal. everyone knows and they ALL felt the same. they should really change their attitude. sobz felt so helpless at 1 moment and i really did my best on helping them and telling them what to do. wasted more than 10 hours lecturing a friend, teaching him how to study and stuff, end up, his own effort cannot be seen, still getting bad results, everyone has their problems, but dun bring it to your exam field la, it will affect everything. your result, your family, your life, future, just everything. dun giv excuses that you dun hav mood to study due to what's happening around. the other one, like dun treat ppl as friends, like living in his own world, when he needs them, call them out or ask them for help, when he dun need them, just ignore them. whenever he do something, it's like 1 out of 10000 things, he will think wisely? everytime ppl say bout his mistakes, angry like no one care. when he got blamed, also angry like no one care. keep exploding like a endless dynamite. if he notice someone saying his mistakes, he will hate that person. so sad huh?

for some ppl, they really face lots of problems, i duno why they're treated that way, but there must be a reason why is happening. i've seen many type of family, just duno why can't every family be the same... haha my brother could lend me a shoes that he, himself also haven wear because i'm going for a birthday party. but i can see my friend's sister stealing her birthday present, a pair of shoes just for an interview, interview only see your resume and your face(maybe), why you need to take ppl's shoes?? birthday present somemore. but maybe she's really desperate?? i dun really know what she's thinking. haha but i dun feel that her way of doing it is correct. but !! family ma, they should think for the siblings also ma, how often you receive a birthday present? did you felt before when your birthday present got stolen when you, yourself dun even have the chance to get the first try? i can't really know how it feels but from my friend's expression, i think it really suckz. cause i seldom receive birthday present also, always go out for a dinner or get ang paus or a cake lo. din really receive a PRESENT before. maybe young that time got la, cause i can't really remember what happened when i was young. ahah

maybe i'm a bad friend? always back stabbing ppl? i duno why, YAR ! i dun have the guts the say in front of you. because if i say in front of you, it will make you shameful or something?? if i express it here at least not the whole school knows?? i duno la, just dun feel like anyone understand me?? whatever i did seems to be wrong? just feel so so so not nice