Sunday, July 27, 2008

Sigh~

hehe, as i wished, july had became a better month,

many things solved in this month, gladful =)

but, there's another thing i'm thinking bout now, most of my friends are going for the prom night at the end of the year, because they manage to get their partner and they can pay for the ticket easily. i'm thinking if i'm going for the night, who would be my partner?? because i seldom have female friends i guess?? and i dun hav the guts to ask anyone to be my partner. and i'm not really good at dancing, some ppl say you can just go there and chat in a group or meet new friends, but prom~ i wish to dance also lo..haha

+ + + the ticket is RM160 for this week?? next week will be RM170?? because they wanna sell off the ticket fast... because i used lots of money this month, went 3 movies already cost me RM21 + movie drinks + playing at arcade + lunch + dinner + went for cheer ( tickets for the LRT? and + + +, i used like RM700 d, + tuitions fees. i din expect i use that much, lolz. really need to start saving money already loo.

prom~ prom~ prom~ it's the hottest topic in school now~ almost everyone start a conversation with the question, are you going prom?? i really felt that i disappoint some of my friends when i answer them i duno am i going for the prom night or not. haiz. i really wish i can go but it's kinda shame if i go without a partner?? all my friend could get partner easily, haiz haiz haiz or maybe it's too late to find a partner now cause almost everyone has their own partner already. hope my luck will get better la, haha *praying hard*

looking at the sky will reduce your stress, try to find a wide place and relax yourself, like lying down on the grass and look at the sky with lots of trees around you... you can actually fall asleep. haha =P

3R = refreshing, relaxing and rest

Blehz, nothing else better to do and crap here...=P

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Happiness of the Year

wooohoooooo

problem solved

problem inside my mind for 2 months and it's finally solved

happy, smiling, hopping, flying, floating, speeding, i'm everywhere

ahahah

ok, wanna know what is it?

i'm not gonna tell or else new problem will occurs....=P

Monday, July 21, 2008

Longest post in my blog~ currently =X

i keep wondering what have i done wrong....which i dun get any answer from anyone
almost everyone ask me to let go and she's not worth it for me to torture myself like an insane guy...i'm blogging today to express myself..

i duno what i have done wrong that made you hated me so much like i destroyed your house or what. i know you dun even bother to read my blog now compare to last time, how you used to keep chasing me to update my blog. i dun have guts to ask you straight, so i just express it here la. a friend of mine told me that you're not going to genting if i'm going... i'm kinda sad when i heard that cause it's consider our class trip, i dun wan you to have no memories or sad memories about the trip... but i wish i could go without giving you any influence or making you sad or regret of going genting. since it's our last year, i really wish i can have any LAST memories. so, can you forget whatever thing i've done or whatever things happened of what i did for like few days and enjoy the genting trip??

but, sometimes i dun really get it, i'm trying my hardest not to bother you like what i did last time?? message you everyday or what so ever. i dun even message you ONCE a week now... like the other day, i'm just asking bout your injury, trying to concern you as a friend, i even ask someone for plaster for you because i accidentally heard you're looking for plaster because your left leg injured, cut by something or whatever, din really focusing on what you're saying. but you din reply me any message, i'm really disappointed. maybe you dun even give a damn on what i'm typing now because you're totally ignoring me already or you dun even have the chance to see this. on the same day you injured, your best friend in the class injured too, i managed to get replies from her, she even ask me questions to continue the conversation, which i felt very comfortable on what we're chatting. i really wish i could chat with you like a normal friend like what we used to be. and today, seeing you in such condition, i dun really feel
asking you are you ok? because i'm afraid to ask so due to several times of ignorance.

and sometimes i really feel irritating when some other ppl in the class keep talking bout you and me. which i know you dun like it, i can see it obviously from your face. and !! i'm not stalking you.... what do you expect when you're sitting in front?? when i face to teacher, you're in my sight. even you yawn i can see...z zzz i'm not stalking you like a stalker... and you felt irritated when i keep adding the same applications with you in facebook?? that i have to apologize cause i duno it irritates you, because i' new to it that time, i added almost every applications that i feel i like them. did you even notice my page have to load longer than yours?? because it have more applications... I'M SORRY for irritating you. but when 4 or 5 friends of mine just added facebook, i have like 120 requests from them, it's like 24/30 requests from each of them, and i dun really feel irritate as they're new to facebook. so, i duno what you're thinking la... maybe our way of thinking are just different.

oh ya, for those who know who i like, i'm fully appreciated on what you guys did for me. but sadly, it brought nothing but negative effects. she has hated me more. but i'm trying to be like what i used to be on 2007's april, which is when i just transferred to SMKDJ back like a stupid guy who talks lame stuff everyday. i dun wan to be like some ppl, who only go for someone when he/she needs something from that person, food? artwork? money? or whatsoever stuff. i dun wan ppl to help me on my artwork, trying to use my 100% effort. seriously, i rather getting low marks with my own effort compare to high marks but not my own effort. many ppl say i'm stupid which the marks is for my SPM, i should score high marks for it no matter what. because it's like once in a life time, unless i wanna waste another year in form 5 to get a better result?? which i dun think i'll do it la...

eventhough you guys try to help me, but please dun make it so obvious la !! you guys know she dun like it right?? so, please kindly zip your mouth up when it's not needed to say something without using your brain !! i know i've made mistakeS that made her hated me so much, please give me chance to change la!! my mind is going to explode d !! starting to get insane.... please dun giv me more pressure or stress anymore la... FRIENDS ~ ~ ~ !!! you dun just help me in whatever way you can, please use some efficient way without making her feel irritates or piss off. i'm sorry i have to type this because i'm sick of keeping all these to my own for like 2 whole months. hope you guys can really concern more by using the brain+heart and not just the heart =)

glad to have friends like you guys but sometimes i really feel sorry for you guys cause i'm ignoring your offers. i've thought for like an hour before i started this blog, i guess i'm just gonna explode like a dynamite. every single thinking of me is inside this post already. so, for those who love reading, hope you like it lah~, for those you feel that i mentioned you, hope you can accept it la, or come straight to me and talk to me bout it if you dun really like it and wanna solve something?

*praying hard for lesser conflicts happening around, lesser pain in my heart, lesser impossible day dreamings, lesser homework XD, lesser computer games (i think it's on my own), lesser stress, and lesser hatred happening around* thank you for everything. readers, those who involved, and friends, everyone, thank everyone for everything.

no offence at all, just expressing my thoughts and how am i feeling. any comments just leave.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Complication, Depression, Sadnesss

sorry guys, for not updating for so long? XD ( duno even got ppl read or not )
haha, i'll start with the most shame thingy happened today...i cried in the school. haha
i cried because i felt myself so useless and caused my 2 friend argued. and i argued with 1 of them after they argued...lol lol lol...i'm so retard huh? haha why we argued i dun wan say lah~

and i cry of course not just that lame reason la, i suddenly felt left out in my lifejust now... it's like whatever thing i do also doesn't affect much, people will never remember me, people will never appreciate it... i'm like invinsible in almost everyone's life...

am i weird? am i normal? am i special? i duno what am i... so many ppl thought i'm so good that i can handle all my stuff and i can take care of myself?? do you know that i'm the weakest creature on earth ?!?!?! i need supports, concerns and stuff....i'm sick for 2 weeks, no one even ask me am i feeling better or what.... no one ask me what happens even i'm super down or emo... just left me aside without bothering me...do you think i need time to cool down myself? NO !!! i need ppl to talk to me and care for me...unless i'm too sad until i can't open my mouth like today la, once i open, there will be water droplets coming out from my eyes....haha i'm still young and small, i can't take care of myself...haha

my thinking is pure and naive...aha....i hope everything to be nice as i wanted to be....but it's impossible la of course...ahah..

why ppl dun trust me or let me to trust them le?? they told me their secrets so much and no other ppl know bout it, and mine....once i told them, next day like whole class know d?? is it so hard to keep secrets?? i dun think so...i can kept so many... i just hate ppl who can't give me faith.... why ppl like this exist?? i wonder is it myself got problem or my friends are wrongs ?? i shouldn't friend them?? they do help a lot when it comes to extra marks/money/etc...when do for volunteering without any reward...all reject?? haiz...

i wish JULY will be a better month....June is a bad month.....so MUCH thing happened and i dun like them !!! idiotic happenings !!!!!