what is special?

special... this word... suddenly i feel so odd and so strange bout it... i... dun really understand the word anymore... i really wish i could be the special one to someone... someone who would think of me first before others... someone who's willing to listen to my heart, my soul... someone... who can love me for who i am...

another time

sob lar.... why i know something like that again at this moment? suck lar... really no one thought of me first before others one, i'll never be the first one to know something... haiz... i hope tomorrow... your answer will change my mind for now...

happy but sad ? sad but happy ?

hmm, this feeling ... i hesitated for quite long d... but i got it clearer few days back... and... i'm really not hurting you and pressuring you or anything here... just really expressing what i was thinking all this time since i'm back from ns...

the moment you told me you've gotten together with him... it really breaks me down... i thought i'm really have to face the fact and give up on you... i even push myself hard with the ns schedule... when the JL asked me to do something, i'll push myself to the extreme limit even though i dun have to... but... the more i force myself, it's just reminding me of you... i even blame myself for not doing things faster... but i know... all these kind of things... really cannot force one... 2 weeks later, you sms me once again telling me you're finished with him... that moment, i really dunno what to say, what to think or even what to do while i have a full schedule there in ns...

i wonder... again and again... is it me who caused you making that mistake ? or should i say decision rather than mistake? i don't know... during ns, i keep telling you bout myself only... i din't really care for you... maybe i made you feel lonely... or jealous cause i keep talking bout the girls in my camp... and end up... you made that decision...i i i really don't know.... cause all this while... i really don't know what you feel for me... ok... i just wish everything will be clear for me at that moment... ok.... that's like few months back d, dun wan to talk bout it anymore... somehow, i just feel like expressing it tonight... cause if i say it out, i'm sure i'll end up crying on someone's shoulder or sadder, my own pillow...

few days back, i'm really happy and glad... cause we've chatted a lot... some topics are not even supposed to chat about... and... you told me that you tell me everything... but... i knew i'm not the first one to know everything... i feel kinda sad cause i'm not the first one you think of... but i know i should be feeling glad that i'm already someone you will think of... sometimes i really dunno should i feel sad or happy... but 1 thing for sure, you've changed a lil... now you're letting me know the details instead of telling me it's someone or something...

maybe... i'm just thinking too much... but sometimes... we just dun realise why are we doing something in those ways... maybe there's some reason we never notice... just like CP3, JT never realise he fell in love with XJ until she say she gonna marry someone else... funny huh? he don't know he fell in love...

never knew

i never knew that you would affect me that much... this few days, i've been doing lots of thinking... i find it funny bout the way how i know you... and it's... such an important event that happened in my life... all this while... i really can't find anything to describe us... until last night... i thought of 2 funny examples.. haha

we're just like a pink guava... i'm the green outside, and you're the pink inside... as i like green and you liked pink... i might look tough and rough but actually i'm sort of soft inside... you look like a special type of guava... that actually really sweet inside... ppl will never know how sweet you are until they get to know you more... maybe... i'm just a lil over protective and sensitive like the pink guava skin... >.< anything happen also can change my colour of skin which is like my mood swing sometimes... haha

another funny example is... you're like the sakuras growing at my bamboo field... same to the pink green concept... sakura... only at japan i suppose? and bamboo... for panda to eat and just fully green... it's funny to think that sakuras will grow on bamboo? haha.... all this while... my life is just like plain green... but you've brought this beautiful bright colour into my life... my field... every time i meet you, you're wearing pink... except for the 1st time we met and 1st time we talked... others.. not too many times, but still.... all pink... hehe.... if you remember la... =) it's really wonderful knowing you in my life...

bout the affect me part... i think i've changed a lot after knowing you, but as for changing to a better side... many things that i wouldn't do last time, i really did them... and... just without you being around when i needed you... it's just... plain loneliness...

sorry for not being there when you needed someone... and sorry for promising i'll be there always while i can't...

Movie Marathon

hmm, for the past 2 weeks, i think i've watched like 5 movies? here's my comments

2012

- a very good show, which made me start worrying bout the world... lolz

- to those who watched this, remember what the guy said bout civilization =)

- can't really comment much, but it's really a great show

A Christmas Carol

- scary yet funny, well... not to say scary lar, it's more to like shocking

- somehow telling people not to forget bout the past?

- people will treat you like how you treated them, and sometimes there's ppl like... they'll still treat you good and respect you even you always treat them bad

Couples Retreat

- thumbs up =P

- i really love this meaningful show, haha

- this show shows us bout relationship, and it's kinda true that... most of the problems between couples are caused by the lacking of communications? like... they made you realise how seldom you talk to your partner... they show you that... you always thought that you cared for your partner but actually most of the time you just talking bout yourself... i like the part where the guy say : you said done lots of things together? what are those things? what i heard only his her his her his her, where's we? where's us? where's our?

- the programme inside the show... it's not like what dave said.... creating problems that you couples never have but to make you realise or notice or aware of what problems you actually have... which is lack of communications or really listen to your partner.. what he or she really wants...

Twilight Saga : New Moon

- missed a bit of the starting cause decided to watch last minute T_T but i've got student price for it... muahahahz.... rm7 !! fyi : i watched alone... >.<

- i think along this movie, i never get bored... it's like exciting all the time... haha

- i feels like jacob... i mean his condition and situation.... not his body and face... lolz...

- really like alice, bella, jacob... they're pretty and handsome !! =P

- to jane and edward lovers... sorry i'm not with you... like that only can argue mar... HAHA

- waiting for next one... can't wait actually.. HAHA

The Storm Warrior : 风云

- highly recommended for those who like action movies, it's loud and full of actions, you can even feel the vibrations from your seat... free massage.. lolz

- ms zx from cp3 acted as chu chu 楚楚 in this show, she's still so pretty... haha

- can't really comment much bout this too, but it's quite a good production... they created a new word too... pronounce as BA ! haha...