Friday, May 20, 2011

I'm not Missing You.

if I can go back to the past,


I would choose not to know you at all.


it’s not that I regret


it’s because I can’t face


the fact that I’m without you.


from now on,


our happiness is no longer


relevant to each other.


the word “love” is actually


something so far from me until I couldn’t reach.


thinking of you quietly,


putting on some soft and smooth music.


your shadow is dim,


your face is blur,


but those won’t affect my emotions while I’m thinking of you.


I’m not missing you much,


just that when I’m happy I’ll thought of you,


you’re the first person that I wanted to share my happiness with.


I’m not missing you much


just that when I’m sad I’ll thought of you


you’re the first person that I wanted to express my sadness.


I’m not missing you much,


just that when I’m listening to songs I’ll thought of you from nowhere


there’s no reason why


it’s just that the lyrics are similar to you and me.


I’m not missing you much,


just that when I’m waking up in the morning I’ll thought of you from nowhere


there’s no reason why


it’s just that the person who appeared in my dream looked like you.


I’m not missing you much,


just that when I’m reading I’ll thought of you from nowhere


there’s no reason why


it’s just that the book’s main characters are similar to you and me.


I really din miss you so much


I only thought of you when I’m walking into some junctions


I only thought of you when I’m half way watching movie


I only thought of you when I’m half way listening songs


I really din miss you so much,


I only thought of you when I don’t want to think of you


This is good


I’m not thinking bout you


I just thought of you until my eyes are watery.


missing you,


but I’m afraid to let you know


that’s why dare not and won’t bother you.


I’m only keeping your smses in my phone,


bringing them out and read them again when I miss you


reading them slowly and feel it with details


after that, I will smile but sad at the same time.


I’m only keeping your favourite songs


never wanted to delete them


because those few “normal’ songs


I can play them again when I miss you


reminding me bout the past.


I’m only waiting for your sms at this quiet and silence night


when it arrives, there’s a kind of excitement in the heart


but I only reply with normal greetings without those excitement


funny jokes, funny arguments


if it don’t arrive,


it somehow brought disappointment


then I’ll sleep with a half dreaming half conscious mood.


the days without you,


I can only work hard to keep update with you


acting like there’s nothing


but after that I’m listening to what they said bout you


and carve those things bout you into my mind


I’m always loving you more than you can imagine


but I just can’t tell you.


lifting up my head to see the clouds of this city


breathing the air in this city


can also make me thought of you.


thinking that those clouds and air will move to your side


even if so


my heart is still warmly….


this moment,


I’m thinking of you


but only thinking of you


and not bothering you


miss you, but not disturbing/bothering you


it’s because I really love you.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Hey Guys !

ooops,accidentally followed Christina Grimmie's words, nvm...

was wondering how many of you actually still visit this blog page once in a while... it's been so long ever since my last post... guess i'm not that active and moody to blog everyday anymore... recently, felt really lifeless... besides eating, there's only sleeping... gained like 11kg ever since my national service, which was like 19 months ago?

really have no idea what to blog about...
i'll just update bout myself a lil

studies? so so, not doing so well for my past exam, felt bad for it... hopefully this coming semester, i'll be hardworking... hopefully everything will be going well during this semester, sick of being an useless sh*t, sick of being slacker, doing is not as easy as it's said... and Rome wasn't built in a day, so... work hard this semester =P

relationship? as usual, staying single, well... rather not to have than being with someone that you worried that you might break up with her or worry that you can't be good? i'm cursed perhaps? everytime when i like someone, i can see their relationship changing in the coming month, from being single to in a relationship with bla and bla, but once i stop liking them or rather give up? they went from in a relationship to single... hopefully it wasn't coincident for them >.< hope you girls find your Mr Right soon alright? ^^ guess i'm just not so right >.< will continue searching for my Ms Right ^^ but ya, i'll still "care" bout you girls... as a friend or whatever, hopefully i wasn't being annoying =P

career achievement? *close topic* nothing YET, more to come ^^

2 is better than 1, but... hopefully i won't be missing 2 girls at 1 time anymore >.<

please clear my mind of 1 girl, and leave the other one for me to love...

love matters, it never end.

poem? not today.

for those who read this, thank you for visiting my blog ^^ hope it doesn't sounds emo