2 Options?

many ppl say our mood of the day is decided ourselves. whether we wan to be happy or depress. 2 options. of course many ppl want to be happy. even i do.

but everytime when you made the decision, there's always something happens and spoil your mood. which i dun really like it. i believe no one like it too. i tried my hardest to tell myself, no matter what happened, just think of forgiving. forgiveness is forever the greatest gift. because of 1 forgiveness, you could change someone's life forever. but for some ppl, the more you forgive the more action he/she is. because they think that whatever they did wrong, ppl will forgive them. sometimes, when you really feel like forgiving someone, when you think there's still hope in him/her, they will break your hopes. they just wanna be what they are.

i was so so so so angry, i'm trying my hardest to forgive whatever was wrong, and try to make it right. but why they must destroy what i'm having. which is the trust i had in them. now it's very hard for me to trust anyone anymore. they betrayed me again and again. what's the point having faith in between when they dun even appreciate it? what's the point of forgiving if they never change? what's the point forgiving them again and again and again just to let them repeat their mistakes?? do you know how sad am i when i've already forgiven someone but i'm still the one who got blamed? when i found someone who i can really trusted, i really feel like telling her everything i'm feeling or facing, but just dun wan to make her sad or guilty lo or really helpless seeing me like that. everyday every night every moment i'm thinking, should i continue what i am doing?? keep forgiving?? i've seen so many ppl keep repeating their mistakes, once~ twice~ thrice~ more than you could imagine. it's not just some small matters that no one care, i do care but i can do nothing.

i really admire a friend, he can be so tough and strong. maybe our living backgrounds are different. he can act like nothing is happening eventhough something really serious happened. but i still manage to see he's in problem la =) no one can hide their true feeling fully. but what he's doing is already great enough, super tough mann. i just can't do like how he did. haiz, most of the time i feel like exploding, sometimes even shouted in a wide field. because there, no one will care what i'm doing. but seriously, in school, no one will care also de la, how can they be so pure and naive?? din talk means emo?? talk much means happy?? where got such thing.... sometimes ppl din talk because they're being serious, sometimes ppl talk much because they're trying to avoid their problems.... why must ppl look things physically?? why must ppl look things with their eyes?? when you're around your friend, feel it mann, try to feel how they felt, dun just talk base on what you saw. sometimes what you saw is not the truth. just learn to look with your heart sometimes. =) you'll learn something new.