am i hurting??

the title meant in 2 ways...

1stly
am i hurting myself?? as in because she already confessed that she fell in love with a friend of mine... now i'm just like a friend being around for her... i really like who she is... i dun care for her background, weaknesses, or whatever... but of course i'm wishing her to be happy all the time. it's hard to make someone really feels happy for quite a while right?? maybe i wanna be like the yes man's main actor... dun plan for holidays... we just take the earliest flight after we arrived the airport... and enjoy our life... it's hard knowing her loving someone so deeply, but it's even harder for me knowing her being sad somewhere... after all, it's hardest when i know she's in that kind of bad condition or situation that makes her duno what to do and have to keep everything to herself... i saw a sentence that day, " the best thing on earth is free ", so, i wish her for the best lah... sometimes i say i dun mind that she dun likes me, but it's just a way to comfort myself and just not make things hard for her cause it's like forcing her to a corner... hope the lucky angel or the love angel will be on my side someday =)

2ndly
sometimes i really doubt it, am i stupid being this way? everytime i'm making ppl feeling bad or worries bout me, most of the time they see me emo but they can't really do anything bout it... because i chose not to say it out.. sometimes i think i've hurt them in some way... but seriously, it's not i dun wanna tell out, it's because i know if i open my mouth, i'll broke down and cry out loud, that's the worst situation that i wish no one will "saw" it... prom night, i tried to talk... but ends up crying in the toilet.. i know myself very well, that's why i choose the best way to cover myself?? i wish the way i chose to be won't affect my friends, i really dun wan to hurt any of them... i chose to be silence, and there's a reason... because i will break down !! ok, stop for now... no way i can be emo now !!! stupid me