ya ya ya, sukie sukie sukie... i admit that i used to say that i'll love sukie forever... but i din say that to her, i say to my friends only... that's why i think like, there's no commitment at all was made... you know i feel really annoyed when some of you ppl still saying : "i remember last time you say you'll love sukie forever and never change, how you know your love towards manda won't change this time?" gosh... it's so irritating whenever i heard that mann...
ya, i used to think that way and say things that way... but... can't you ppl change your damm thinking meh? din you notice everytime when you say i used to love sukie, i always dun give any response? cause i really dun wan to get into any arguement, it's not that i'm speechless bout it... ya, maybe i'm speechless bout it, but that was the past for god's sake... why keep bringing it out in front of so many ppl and keep saying bout it? i used to be "stupid" or rather immature... cause i even thought of buying a car with the number plat of WSQ1314? ya... funny...
and as for now... i din always bring out the topic "manda" right? because i din commit anything to her yet... and you got hear from me that i'll love manda forever? the answer is no!! because i've learnt how to think now... unlike form 4's me... ya, i can't guarantee i'll love manda forever as the ME i am now... no one can guarantee, even if they promised you, they can break their promises any time they want... because as who i am now, i can't give the secure feeling, that kind of assurance to manda... because i always knew that i'm not good enough for anyone yet...
ya ya ya, many ppl say i'm good, i'm kind, i'm a good listener, i'm a good friend or whatsoever... but deep down inside, i know i'm not good, i'm not kind, dun even mention a good listener or a good friend... i know i've been always a trouble to ppl... cause i never make decisions whenever we hang out, i can never handle calls or decide like where to meet, where to eat or stuff like that... when ppl call me and ask : "hey, what movie are we watching later? and what time is it?" i can't answer questions like that cause i never have enough confidence in myself and i really afraid of making decisions....
i always thought like i can be good to others... but sometimes the things i do, it's just too over... sometimes i'm just trying to help but end up making more troubles or problems... that's why i'm used to like... not making any decisions at all... every decisions i made, there's problems around... i'm trying to improve myself in any ways i can...
can just stop saying what i used to say bout sukie? i'm starting to get annoyed by my dumbness? f*** it mann...
P.S. not trying to say sukie not good but just how bad was i...
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