i guess i'm just too blind folded for the past few days... even my favourite anime latest episode is out i also forgot to watch.... i'm just too weak huh?? haha... but i noticed it today wo?? not bad hor?? haha... i should say i'm lucky liao lor.... some ppl din even know the feeling of truly loving a person... some ppl din even know the feeling of failure... so, i'm kinda happy lor.. XD
gosh, i suddenly feel i'm so smart, *you ppl sure think, perasannya budak lelaki ni* haha, but yet, i'm super proud of myself today... gosh... hahaha !!! muahahahhaz !!! (note: i'm not crazy) but just really excited i can actually thought of that idea !! dun feel like saying it... it's a brilliant idea !! gosh ~
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
oh, i thought of the way already
hehe, i finally thought of the KEY way~
haha, love is just like wind ~ when it wants to come, you can't block it.... when it wants to leave, you can't stop it... our life is full of obstacles and difficulties... if we never face any sadness or failure, we won't know what is the true happiness... that's what we can do is.... be tough and bare with it.... i can't really remember the whole sentence/paragraph of what the actress said in the movie, but that's enough for me to cheer up =)
i shall not think that much of it already and i should be happy that i faced the failure... ppl always say in chinese mar, failure is the mother of success.. haha... if we never face any failure... we won't grow/improve to be better than now...
so ya, smile ~
thanks to the tv... i found the way.... and thanks to the person who teman me til almost 4am yesterday =) you've open up my mind... thanks for sharing your opinions, glad to meet you, so i guess it was fated to meet you bah =) haha
haha, love is just like wind ~ when it wants to come, you can't block it.... when it wants to leave, you can't stop it... our life is full of obstacles and difficulties... if we never face any sadness or failure, we won't know what is the true happiness... that's what we can do is.... be tough and bare with it.... i can't really remember the whole sentence/paragraph of what the actress said in the movie, but that's enough for me to cheer up =)
i shall not think that much of it already and i should be happy that i faced the failure... ppl always say in chinese mar, failure is the mother of success.. haha... if we never face any failure... we won't grow/improve to be better than now...
so ya, smile ~
thanks to the tv... i found the way.... and thanks to the person who teman me til almost 4am yesterday =) you've open up my mind... thanks for sharing your opinions, glad to meet you, so i guess it was fated to meet you bah =) haha
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
it's easy to say, but it's really hard to do
3rd night/morning i can't sleep after reading the message... i somehow still can't get use to the daily routine i was doing for the past 9 months... but today... at least i have someone to talk to, we actually talked on the phone for 2 hours and 52 minutes... i just feel better after talking... before, i was like keeping everything in my heart, and what i can do was only chat in msn and share it in words... but yesterday, i actually said it out with my mouth... it takes lots of courage to do something you dun even know can you do it or not... like my title, it's easy to say, but it's really hard to do... dun ever comment bout someone too much when you, yourself can't even face it on your own... yar, i know, what i should do after that day, but it's just so hard to do like what you all asked me to do... it isn't as easy as you expect... you'll just know someday when you faced the similiar situation...
after talking on the phone yesterday, i noticed i've been so fake all the time... everytime hang out, i'm not who i really am... i cared a lot bout how ppl look at me, think bout me, or rather comment bout me... that's why i've been a really good person when i'm outside... i actually not that good only de... i admit i swear/curse a lot at home, but outside, you can hardly hear me saying those rude words or vulgar... that's why i feel like... i'm really hiding my trueself just to make more friends... which i think it wasn't a bad thing... but i'm just gonna lost myself more after day by day passes... but i think it's better to stay the way i was doing all this while... my trueself just too ugly... worse than a demon... and actually, i used my friends as a tool to seal the demon in my heart... i think it's not a wrong way to do so right?
and you know... it's really really damm hard to find someone who has so "much" of similiarities with you of the opposite gender... it's just so fake until like it was fated... yesterday i actually thought of this, fate and fake only 1 alphabet different... fate looks fake all the time... most of the time you just can't believe what you're seeing... but that's your fate to see it, know it or feel it, no matter how fake it was... and fate actually has its date.... which also 1 alphabet different only... the fate was planned in various dates... that's why sometimes it looks like a chain reaction?? things just happen 1 after another... nevermind lar, i shall not analyse too much... later i'm gonna be like some insane ppl who was locked in some kind of room with all the chains...
i'm glad that you ppl were by my side whenever i need you ppl...
but for some ppl, i really dun like when you say things like it's so easy to make it... it's not as easy as you sees it... i know it's not hard either, as long as i have the will, i can do it... but seriously... i'm really serious on her... i din even notice i actually did that much for her... but i always think it's not enough...
ppl, i'll just take my time slowly and give a lil fate lo... dun rush me to forget bout her bah... it's painful... it's a painful experience !!
after talking on the phone yesterday, i noticed i've been so fake all the time... everytime hang out, i'm not who i really am... i cared a lot bout how ppl look at me, think bout me, or rather comment bout me... that's why i've been a really good person when i'm outside... i actually not that good only de... i admit i swear/curse a lot at home, but outside, you can hardly hear me saying those rude words or vulgar... that's why i feel like... i'm really hiding my trueself just to make more friends... which i think it wasn't a bad thing... but i'm just gonna lost myself more after day by day passes... but i think it's better to stay the way i was doing all this while... my trueself just too ugly... worse than a demon... and actually, i used my friends as a tool to seal the demon in my heart... i think it's not a wrong way to do so right?
and you know... it's really really damm hard to find someone who has so "much" of similiarities with you of the opposite gender... it's just so fake until like it was fated... yesterday i actually thought of this, fate and fake only 1 alphabet different... fate looks fake all the time... most of the time you just can't believe what you're seeing... but that's your fate to see it, know it or feel it, no matter how fake it was... and fate actually has its date.... which also 1 alphabet different only... the fate was planned in various dates... that's why sometimes it looks like a chain reaction?? things just happen 1 after another... nevermind lar, i shall not analyse too much... later i'm gonna be like some insane ppl who was locked in some kind of room with all the chains...
i'm glad that you ppl were by my side whenever i need you ppl...
but for some ppl, i really dun like when you say things like it's so easy to make it... it's not as easy as you sees it... i know it's not hard either, as long as i have the will, i can do it... but seriously... i'm really serious on her... i din even notice i actually did that much for her... but i always think it's not enough...
ppl, i'll just take my time slowly and give a lil fate lo... dun rush me to forget bout her bah... it's painful... it's a painful experience !!
Monday, April 20, 2009
it's 5am again
haiz... do i deserve this?? do i really have to become like this?? please save me lar !! it's the 2nd day i can't sleep til 5am... and it's the 2nd day after i saw that message... is it really hard to forget someone?? maybe i just accepted too many advices... work hard you'll see the changes, hope can be created by yourself lar, and... aiya !! just too many opinions was given to me lar... i'm so lost... everyone say, forget her lar... move on lar... if that's so easy.... i would've be someone cold blooded?? i duno lar, it's just so hard to control this feeling thinge of mine...
the past 2 days... i thought back what i've been through.... can it be a dream?? could it be just a dream to me?? but sad to say, even if it's a dream... i remembered it so clearly... every scene, every sentence said and every emotions i had... and every moment that i treasured... i also duno why i always regret something after i've lost it... i seriously duno how to appreciate those chances and those days i had... it's just so hard to imagine why am i so weak... what was i thinking when i have those chances.... what was i doing when i have those days... gosh... to think back... i'm seriously 100% retarded as the quiz stated...
i couldn't even accept a fact that's already happened... what else could i say bout myself??
i ain't myself anymore...
the past 2 days... i thought back what i've been through.... can it be a dream?? could it be just a dream to me?? but sad to say, even if it's a dream... i remembered it so clearly... every scene, every sentence said and every emotions i had... and every moment that i treasured... i also duno why i always regret something after i've lost it... i seriously duno how to appreciate those chances and those days i had... it's just so hard to imagine why am i so weak... what was i thinking when i have those chances.... what was i doing when i have those days... gosh... to think back... i'm seriously 100% retarded as the quiz stated...
i couldn't even accept a fact that's already happened... what else could i say bout myself??
i ain't myself anymore...
Sunday, April 19, 2009
today and yesterday ??
when i wake up today, i somehow felt my life has changed... it's not as bright as it used to be... everyone asked me to move on... but i guess, i've put in too much parking fee, i just have to stop for a lil while longer... it's hard to change everything in a sudden... and i'm seriously totally lazy to change everything... if i would've give up... idk what will it be... haha, maybe i shouldn't put in so much at the beginning... 终于明白了希望越大， 失望越大的道理。
yar, i felt the emptiness, the loneliness... i even stay up til 5am yesterday... for thinking what happened in my room for the past 9 months... it changed a lot... and there's just too much joy to gain from it... home is still the safest place... if i try to compare... my heart was broken 5 times outside the house, but only once at home... it's just so hard to accept the fact right?
friend A : why you have to make it 1?? open up your options and be fair to other girls.... we're still young...
friend B : you have to give up lar... no point staying the same
friend C : i'm sorry, i duno what to say... you must be very sad
friend D : dun lar so emo, there are still plenty outside...
friend E : gosh, finally... you're free now... i'm glad she did that...
do i really have to give up?? i'm really confused... it's like i got hint'ed or something... (but to give up or not, it's still depends on me) 但是，这并不表示我一定会放弃。 she's right... life's always unfair... but still... what happen in the future we won't know, we just gonna work for it... really wish i could pick up my mood soon... it shall not stay for long !!
yar, i felt the emptiness, the loneliness... i even stay up til 5am yesterday... for thinking what happened in my room for the past 9 months... it changed a lot... and there's just too much joy to gain from it... home is still the safest place... if i try to compare... my heart was broken 5 times outside the house, but only once at home... it's just so hard to accept the fact right?
friend A : why you have to make it 1?? open up your options and be fair to other girls.... we're still young...
friend B : you have to give up lar... no point staying the same
friend C : i'm sorry, i duno what to say... you must be very sad
friend D : dun lar so emo, there are still plenty outside...
friend E : gosh, finally... you're free now... i'm glad she did that...
do i really have to give up?? i'm really confused... it's like i got hint'ed or something... (but to give up or not, it's still depends on me) 但是，这并不表示我一定会放弃。 she's right... life's always unfair... but still... what happen in the future we won't know, we just gonna work for it... really wish i could pick up my mood soon... it shall not stay for long !!
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
love course?
yup yup, there was a girl and a guy.... wonder why college din provide love course...
there's this man said :
- love isn't something you can learn from class...
- love is something you need to feel it with your heart
- love is like an experience... it cannot be seen... but you can learn from it...
- love isn't all bout kisses, hugs, and making love
- love is something you really felt it with your heart and it's undescribable and unexplainable
- why you love her? why you love him? you never know
- why love is suffering? actually it's not... it depends on how you view it and how you feel it
- but love can be beautiful at times, and ugly at times... it can make you feels good, but bad at some times
- you must know your feelings right... make sure you're not blinded although love is blind
- you can see no path in front of you when you're in love, that's why you need to create one by your own
- we won't know what will happen in the future, what we can do is work for it
- sometimes, you have to expect the unexpected happenings
everything happen for a reason, every person you meet, they'll give you a lesson, every different person has their own personalities, to show you the different lessons that you might learn... everyone that appears in your life for a reason, some are meant to betray, some are meant to be with you, some are meant to be there for you, some are meant to leave you, there are plenty of possibilities... but what you have to do is... feel it with your heart... who is your friends, and who will not be your friends.... feel it...
it's not an emo post, it's just some lessons i got from watching few shows... of course... some sentences are added from my thoughts or my smses... =P
there's this man said :
- love isn't something you can learn from class...
- love is something you need to feel it with your heart
- love is like an experience... it cannot be seen... but you can learn from it...
- love isn't all bout kisses, hugs, and making love
- love is something you really felt it with your heart and it's undescribable and unexplainable
- why you love her? why you love him? you never know
- why love is suffering? actually it's not... it depends on how you view it and how you feel it
- but love can be beautiful at times, and ugly at times... it can make you feels good, but bad at some times
- you must know your feelings right... make sure you're not blinded although love is blind
- you can see no path in front of you when you're in love, that's why you need to create one by your own
- we won't know what will happen in the future, what we can do is work for it
- sometimes, you have to expect the unexpected happenings
everything happen for a reason, every person you meet, they'll give you a lesson, every different person has their own personalities, to show you the different lessons that you might learn... everyone that appears in your life for a reason, some are meant to betray, some are meant to be with you, some are meant to be there for you, some are meant to leave you, there are plenty of possibilities... but what you have to do is... feel it with your heart... who is your friends, and who will not be your friends.... feel it...
it's not an emo post, it's just some lessons i got from watching few shows... of course... some sentences are added from my thoughts or my smses... =P
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
deep thinker??
You think deeply about things going on in the present, past, and sometimes even future. You often drift off during work or class and start thinking about other things. You always hide what your thoughts from your friends and it often takes a poke or a snap of the fingers to bring you back to reality. Your eyes often portray a different personality than you are. Your eyes are a different part of your soul.
Your mind is like The Deep Ocean. You are always active, but arent easy to get to know. Once people do, they see a clever but relaxed person. Many people look up to you, you're a hard worker, dont waste time and are loyal to those close to you.
When your friends have problems, they can turn to you. When one of the girls' shirt gets torn, you can stitch it back together. When one of the guys asks you for a solution to their problems, you have the answer. Your own life may not always be smooth sailing, but you definitely know how to ride the waves.
Your mind is like The Deep Ocean. You are always active, but arent easy to get to know. Once people do, they see a clever but relaxed person. Many people look up to you, you're a hard worker, dont waste time and are loyal to those close to you.
When your friends have problems, they can turn to you. When one of the girls' shirt gets torn, you can stitch it back together. When one of the guys asks you for a solution to their problems, you have the answer. Your own life may not always be smooth sailing, but you definitely know how to ride the waves.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
lolz... am i addicted??
let me tell you... I'M NOT DAMM FREAKING ADDICTED TO THE DAMM DOTA !!!
i'm just being nice and play with my friends... =) i dun even touch the stupid icon of GARENA when i'm home alone...
first attempt to quit - 19 days...
second attempt - 5 days...
but... it's all because of i wanted to teman my friend... =) seriously...
the top 3 things in my life....
1st - family
2nd- her
3rd - friends
=) and myself gonna be last of everything =) dammit =P
i'm just being nice and play with my friends... =) i dun even touch the stupid icon of GARENA when i'm home alone...
first attempt to quit - 19 days...
second attempt - 5 days...
but... it's all because of i wanted to teman my friend... =) seriously...
the top 3 things in my life....
1st - family
2nd- her
3rd - friends
=) and myself gonna be last of everything =) dammit =P
Monday, April 13, 2009
dream #2 and #3
lolz, had a shocking dream again last night...
actually i had 2 dreams last night.... both also very shocking....
first dream, was the shorter one... it started me and my buddies, having a yam cha session at taman megah ?? weird though.... it's a corner kopitiam.... suddenly... there's this robber came out from nowhere... and grabbed my presents... i got 2 presents that time... he asked me to choose one, as he will take the other one... i chose the necklace... then he took my glass bottle.... but i can't afford to lose both... so i fight with him to get back my glass bottle... suddenly... a gun shot was released... my glass bottle burst and all the papers inside flew out... the robber ran away, and it started to rain heavily... all the messaged papers were flowing into the drain... then she suddenly came out from nowhere to read all the messages... haha, in my dream... i only get to read 1 of those messages... which is : take care of yourself when i'm off to NS... lolz.... this dream ended with a hug in the rain... my dreams are getting weirder XD
as for the second dream, i got invited to a party at a condominium.... the condo got 50 floors, but my friend's party at 9th floor... i actually arrived the car park with kar how and andrea... then we meet up jason at the car park too... half way... we met lee ping, sook teng and moy lien... then i talked to them for a while and jason, kar how and andrea left me behind by going up to the party first... then i went to take the lift... i feel extremely weird cause the lift can go up to 8th floor only... nvm lor, without hesitation... i just got out from 8th floor lo... then i saw the stairs that i could use to go upstairs... who knows... once i go up is 10th floor d... then i go down to reconfirm... and it's 8th floor !! the 9th floor is missing !! then i keep going up and down... it's still 10th and 8th... suddenly... rachel appeared... she somehow lead me to the 9th floor and reach the party house d... =.=" saw jason, kar how and andrea was chatting with choo, lim, may jin they all d... then she laughed and say : told you it's hard to find... lolz, then when i was about to ask how jason they all come to 9th floor... an explosion occured in my house... as in real life... not dream... gosh... luckily din wake up earlier...
actually i had 2 dreams last night.... both also very shocking....
first dream, was the shorter one... it started me and my buddies, having a yam cha session at taman megah ?? weird though.... it's a corner kopitiam.... suddenly... there's this robber came out from nowhere... and grabbed my presents... i got 2 presents that time... he asked me to choose one, as he will take the other one... i chose the necklace... then he took my glass bottle.... but i can't afford to lose both... so i fight with him to get back my glass bottle... suddenly... a gun shot was released... my glass bottle burst and all the papers inside flew out... the robber ran away, and it started to rain heavily... all the messaged papers were flowing into the drain... then she suddenly came out from nowhere to read all the messages... haha, in my dream... i only get to read 1 of those messages... which is : take care of yourself when i'm off to NS... lolz.... this dream ended with a hug in the rain... my dreams are getting weirder XD
as for the second dream, i got invited to a party at a condominium.... the condo got 50 floors, but my friend's party at 9th floor... i actually arrived the car park with kar how and andrea... then we meet up jason at the car park too... half way... we met lee ping, sook teng and moy lien... then i talked to them for a while and jason, kar how and andrea left me behind by going up to the party first... then i went to take the lift... i feel extremely weird cause the lift can go up to 8th floor only... nvm lor, without hesitation... i just got out from 8th floor lo... then i saw the stairs that i could use to go upstairs... who knows... once i go up is 10th floor d... then i go down to reconfirm... and it's 8th floor !! the 9th floor is missing !! then i keep going up and down... it's still 10th and 8th... suddenly... rachel appeared... she somehow lead me to the 9th floor and reach the party house d... =.=" saw jason, kar how and andrea was chatting with choo, lim, may jin they all d... then she laughed and say : told you it's hard to find... lolz, then when i was about to ask how jason they all come to 9th floor... an explosion occured in my house... as in real life... not dream... gosh... luckily din wake up earlier...
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