hmm, my views after taking 5 pieces of paper today

let's see....

5 pieces
- spm result paper
- sijil berhenti sekolah
- surat akuan
- sijil kajian rekaan seni visual
- sijil pentaksiran pendidikan moral

spm result
A1 - Modern Mathematics
A1 - Modern Science
A2 - English
B3 - Perdagangan
B3 - Pendidikan Moral
B3 - Pendidikan Seni
B3 - Bahasa Melayu
C5 - Bahasa Cina
C6 - Sejarah

not to show off cause i have nothing to show off...
just wanna say something bout it
i was expecting a better results for pd, moral, and bm.... i thought i can get A for this 3 subjects... and these 3 i got B3... kinda disappointed.... but still ya.... tried my best....
i was saying the 4 x B3 subjects to all my close friends... cause seriously it's SO CLOSE to A2... omg omg.... how nice if got 7As.... but DREAM ON ~
was kinda down for a moment, but i stood up again =)

every teacher + old folks say i still have lot of spaces to improve myself, but they din tell me where... they just say cut off my laziness... maybe that's the thing that matters..

whose birthday i miss if go NS 3rd batch

June
- lay shu
- hazeem
- khaliq

July
- poh yee
- boon vin zhan
- lee ping
- zhi khang
- lourene
- kar how

August
- mun foo
- manda
- yi soon
- jen hoong
- becca
- jinn yeung
- raja

i'll be missing 16 friends' birthday... sob sob

i think i can't make it

it's just so hard to separate this stupid sadness of mine from my life... i tried and tried again... but it's just so hard to put my sadness in the other blog and put my sadness away from me... it's always here and it'll never fade...

life is not a bed of roses... even if it's full of roses... they still have thorns... although they look beautiful from the top, but they actually have thorns on the stem... life can never be easy for everyone, as everyone have different challenges... sometimes you'll be glad that you're not rich cause many rich children duno how to do housecores =) be glad that you're still able to do housecores on your own...

i'm back from a 3 days trip to genting... supposingly relaxing myself... but i think i just can't make it... relax is not in my dictionary... it's just the beginning of my life... counted just now...

2009 March ~ June = work
2009 June ~ September = NS
2009 September ~ December = work
2010 January ~ 2011 July = if i'm going for form 6 then
2011 July ~ December = work while waiting for stpm result
2012~2015 = university

2016 = graduation year and i'm 25 years old.... SO OLD

so, now i'm totally lost and i really got no directions anymore... and this study thing isn't the only that's bothering me... and love... i just dun understand my self... what am i anymore... no matter how many times i tell myself i can do it, i can hang on, i can stand on... each time i make myself disappointed, and falling down again and again... for all this while, i thought i can really stand on and will never drop tears anymore... but why am i feeling so pain everytime... i wanted to comfort myself so badly...

today is the 240th day... i hope it will last forever

human are designed for not to swear.... i notice something... when you swear you'll love someone forever, it will never works... cause the swear is only for you to say on your wedding day... especially at my age... i shouldn't do so... cause the fate will change... what i want now is to love not to swear... you're 2nd in my heart cause first will be the family... unless you're in my family, then you'll be the first...

wanted to laugh so badly,
wanted to smile so badly;
dun wan to feel sad anymore,
dun wan to feel hurt anymore.

Punisher - War Zone

watched punisher today... i guess it's super violent huh?? haha
cutting a head like cutting watermelon

not really my type of movies, but i like those guns.... just way too cool ~ muahahahahhaz

and the russoti's face... omg... ugly piece of shit ~ *said by the captain*

nothing much to comment,
-ppl who like guns, maybe can watch lo... lots of guns in this movie
-ppl who like fighting, maybe can learn a trick of two in this movie
-ppl who hates being ugly, i think you should watch, the guy is much more uglier than you i'm sure and should be glad with what you have
-ppl who hates violence, this movie is highly not recommended to you =P

I'm your guardian angel...

as long as i'm able to see you in my sight, it's enough for me

although most of the time i duno how to comfort you

but i will always concern for you and

protect you with all i can

Once upon a broken heart

Long ago and far away
I could never dream of the day
That your love would come my way and stay
And sweep me away and I

Never believed fairytales came true
But now I know that they really do
Now that I found you, now that I'm here with you
Just look at the sunshine, and you
Showed me a world
That I'd never seen
I woke up and fell into this dream
Happily ever after just took time
Once upon this broken heart of mine

this is the way a fairytale feels
This is the way I know it's real
Cause this is the way a broken heart heals

delivered message to my mind

loving each other = easy
living together = not so easy

coupling together = you'll see the goods of your love one
married = you'll have to forgive your love one's bads

fate = he/she is the someone who can forgive you
got but no fate = he/she just someone who help you pass a few moments

learn to forgive someone before you forget what happened...
don't learn forget what happened to forgive someone...

revenge = a stupid act, because you can get nothing in return but just a second of satisfaction

am i knowing or seeing too much??

haha !! i always know i dun understand girls at all... but everytime they said something, i can somehow feel something... just feeling so odd, like having a sixth sense...

do you know how to listen??

listening is a granted ability to you... do you know the real way of listening??

basically, you have to listen things with your heart and your will...

for example, in the class, when a teacher is explaining something to you in front of the class, you have to listen with your will.... if you're not willing to listen what the teacher say or saying.... you can't understand a word from him/her and you won't feel like answering any question the teacher ask... so normally in class, you must listen to what the teacher say in order to understand more.... no point studying so hard at home if you dun listen at school.... although sometimes you feel that what the teacher say is useless, but you'll find it useful later =)

bout listening with your heart, most of the time it's use on like... erm... ppl with bracers?? or someone who couldn't speak well... if you already have the ignoring mood of listening, most of the time you won't get to listen what they're saying... you need to have a kind of understand heart to listen what they're trying to say... sometimes you dun even really need to hear what came out from their mouth, you can somehow understand what they're saying... it's kinda miracle i can say... it's like... you have some kind of bond or connection in between.... hehe..

i also duno what am i crapping here.... haha

translated from a chinese song =P

when i heard the voice of you, i have a special feeling, which keeps me thinking, dare not to forget you again, i remember there's one person, forever stay inside my heart, i'm afraid that i could only think of you this way.

if there's one day, the dream of love will come true, i'll triple my effort to treat you nice forever, i don't care how far is the journey, i'll fulfill the wish no matter what, i will softly speak beside your ear that : i love you, loving you, just like how the mouse loves the cat, no matter how many tornados or hurricanes there is, i will company you

i miss you, missing you, i dun care how hard the life will be, as long as you'll be happy, anything i also willing to do, forever love you....

this is a song that i love so much when i was form 2, my form 2 classmates should know because i sang it for like 3 months non stop =)