Complication, Depression, Sadnesss

sorry guys, for not updating for so long? XD ( duno even got ppl read or not )
haha, i'll start with the most shame thingy happened today...i cried in the school. haha
i cried because i felt myself so useless and caused my 2 friend argued. and i argued with 1 of them after they argued...lol lol lol...i'm so retard huh? haha why we argued i dun wan say lah~

and i cry of course not just that lame reason la, i suddenly felt left out in my lifejust now... it's like whatever thing i do also doesn't affect much, people will never remember me, people will never appreciate it... i'm like invinsible in almost everyone's life...

am i weird? am i normal? am i special? i duno what am i... so many ppl thought i'm so good that i can handle all my stuff and i can take care of myself?? do you know that i'm the weakest creature on earth ?!?!?! i need supports, concerns and stuff....i'm sick for 2 weeks, no one even ask me am i feeling better or what.... no one ask me what happens even i'm super down or emo... just left me aside without bothering me...do you think i need time to cool down myself? NO !!! i need ppl to talk to me and care for me...unless i'm too sad until i can't open my mouth like today la, once i open, there will be water droplets coming out from my eyes....haha i'm still young and small, i can't take care of myself...haha

my thinking is pure and naive...aha....i hope everything to be nice as i wanted to be....but it's impossible la of course...ahah..

why ppl dun trust me or let me to trust them le?? they told me their secrets so much and no other ppl know bout it, and mine....once i told them, next day like whole class know d?? is it so hard to keep secrets?? i dun think so...i can kept so many... i just hate ppl who can't give me faith.... why ppl like this exist?? i wonder is it myself got problem or my friends are wrongs ?? i shouldn't friend them?? they do help a lot when it comes to extra marks/money/etc...when do for volunteering without any reward...all reject?? haiz...

i wish JULY will be a better month....June is a bad month.....so MUCH thing happened and i dun like them !!! idiotic happenings !!!!!