everyone saying liking someone isn't like living together with someone, when you like a person, there's almost no reponsibility, i mean as for younger age ppl, when they say i like you, they dun really think far in the future, they just hate being single?? or scared when they're single will get criticize... if you're living together, then you have hell lot things to responsible... of course i shouldn't think bout living together la... it's like so far away !! but i'm just wondering lah, am i able to cope with living together?? there was once that i have such chance, but i've lost it cause of some issues... haha... i still remember she asked me on 26th september, whether wanna stay at her place by paying her rental... maybe you guys think that i simply type out a date, but it's the fact... although i dun hav the proof, but it's just real lah, duno how to explain.. ahah... of course it's not going well between us all the time, and it's super hard for us to be together?? ppl say emo ppl dun suit emo ppl... cause emo + emo = silent, duno lah, but seriously i can do nothing in front of her...
normally a boy will become stronger or better when the person he likes is around, but i'm different, because the others like to show off?? haha... i remember that time i was playing futsal, early game still ok de, but until she appears, i miss every passing and every attempts of scoring goal... i even felt tired... that moment just feel like leaving the field and concern bout her cause she din reply for days.... maybe my thinking still not mature enough or something... ppl always say dun because of 1 tree and give up the whole forest, or there's still plenty of flowers outside the garden... but... i just like the flower that is so special to me... maybe it's not the time yet, maybe it's not the stage for me to really know how to concern bout someone?? ppl who know me should know i'm a retard person, a person that dun dare to talk in front of a group of ppl, a person that is shy to talk to girls, a person that duno how to cope around with girls and etc, i just duno why i couldn't really talk to girls, but i really wish i can change all this someday la... i really need to talk to her... haiz...
to anyone who read this, please answer me
am i scary?? cause i notice like quite a lot ppl afraid of me??? or i'm just too emo for you guys to talk with?? i duno lah, just feel like, if i duno maths, no one will talk to me, if i dun be lame, no one will remember me, if i dun emo, no one will notice me... just because i know maths, i'm lame and i emo, ppl only talk to me, remember me, and notice me.... or else... i'm just like an invisible person who lives on the earth... at SMKDJ for 3 years and 8 months.... i almost know all the form 5s without talking to them... but there's plenty of ppl actually duno bout me?? even the next class ppl never heard of me?? i'm just feeling so odd, living in an environment that no one recognizes me... it's not i got affected by her, but seriously, maybe a new environment will suits us better... human are so easy-change-able, easchangable, HAHA because of a new thing, forgot the old ones on the next day =(
sad sad sad
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