dreaming nightmares

ahh, lately... nightmares...

dream....

always started with a party... everyone play play drink drink drunk drunk.... then i wanna go toilet... while i'm peeing... my surrounding gets darker and darker and darker until i can't even see my own hand... suddenly... a small and weak light glowing in front of me... suddenly !! a face appeared from the light... the face keep looking at me and staring at me... and i keep praying until i finish peeing... after that i zip up my pants then try to walk off, that face of light followed me... wherever i go, he'll follow me ... after i left the toilet, i wanted to go back to the party... but everyone just disappeared... suddenly the house became so dusty and so creepy and spooky like no one's here for long... then i ran out from the house... it's a big endless green field... but all the grass are full of dust... gosh... also dunno how to describe... but somehow... the ghost... is helping me to watch my back... and giving me light at a darkest point...

something might be bad when you look at them physically... but... sometimes... you just can't judge anything by just seeing them... i... really wish my dream is telling me that everything's gonna be fine... maybe things are bad for now... they'll be better later on... never had a dream come true deeply described me now... everybody got something... they have to leave behind.... one regret from yesterday, that just seems to grow with time.... there's no use looking back or wondering... how it could be now or might have been... oh this i know but still i can't find ways to let you go...

i failed to kill my emotions... i failed to seal up my emotions... maybe, they're suppose to be there... keep forcing them to leave... i'll end up getting nothing