a deep thought day

haha, title = a sentence that i keep repeating over and over again for today =)

ok... let's see.... what are the thoughts....

1. Studies
- as you ppl know (i wish you really know), i got ns 3rd batch/group for siri 6 2009, but it's not an excuse for me to use in studying... although i look like i'm not serious, but i really did thought bout what i wanna study... actually, i got nothing much to choose... because my general knowledge is really so damm weak... i dun even know what is actuarial science?? is this the correct spelling?? *idk* my aunt suggested me mechatronic ?? *idk too* i duno what are those... and today, my friend suggested me technology engineering and what modern engineering... *again, what the heck is it* omg... i consider myself to be very lucky that i'm able to born in such a family.... from what i've observe from movies, realities and books, seriously i'm very lucky already... i dun complain for it like how i used to... i've learnt a lot within this 3 months... 1 month of work, 2 months of "slacking" ... seriously... although i'm 1 of those who keeps download movies and watch and watch at home... i admit i've watched over 40 movies within 2 months.... but i've learnt a lot... i can say... it's a lot....

it's not just some random movies... i absorbed knowledge from every single movies i've watched... even if it's cartoon... i'll try to find a lesson in it =) after this 2 months, everythings gonna be different to me... i mean i started to view things different... a sentence from me : DO NOT VIEW THINGS PHYSICALLY... let's give you an example : when you're standing in front of a shop with transparent glass wall... you can actually see 3 views... do you know that??

A - the things behind the glass, normally you'll be seeing the items that's for sale
B - you can see a reflection of yourself inside the glass
C - you can actually see what's happening behind you

so, let's not see thing with ONE thought or ONE view... we must see things differently... i know most of you dun get what i'm saying most of the time... even the jokes you guys won't laugh.... i know the reason all the time =) and to ppl that thinks i'm annoying that keep nagging you all the time... sometimes... i really mean it... i wan you to learn... i wan you to see things as i see them... because i've learnt something useful, that's why i wanna share it with you... but most of the time, can say majority will ignore what i say... because majorities are used to my lame side of me... and after this 2 months of slacking... i already reduced my lameness to the lowest... so i hope when i'm saying something useful next time... someone will actually listen it and remember it =)

and today, i saw someone, who is not well educated... but he's really good at something... i really wish i'm gonna study what i will really love to do next time... but now, i duno what i'm really interested in... ya, it's true that i love maths a lot... and it's a huge field to show the talent that's hidden in maths... that's why i must choose a course that can really show what myself is... i always say : anything lar, i duno wo, anything lar.... it's already a habit to me, i dun have the will to make any decisions or choice anymore... not like i did before... but... at least must learn how to make choices right?? haiz haiz.... please guide me and show me a path of light, a path of hope that will leads me to a better future...

2. Future
- future... have you thought of this word?? future.... i wonder what my future will be.... sitting beside the road... waiting inside the shopping complex... waiting for mom to fetch... all this time you can observe what's around you and learn something you can.... today... i saw many types of father... and i saw many types of working method also...

-father, ya... everyone has a father right?? even if you're an orphan... you used to have a father right?? and if you're a male, you'll be a father someday also right?? today... really like an adventure day to me... made me realise what i din notice all this way... being a father isn't easy... especially if you're a single parent + businessman... of course i dun mean being a mother will be easy... but because i'm a guy... i'll say more bout father k ?? =) i was wondering... what type of father i'll be in the future... which i hope i'll be a father in the future of course... sometimes... i do love kids, but sometimes i feel they're annoying... and i really worry i'll be that kind of hit-kid-like-of-father, i really swear i'm not gonna hit anyone unless that person deserves the punishment that can be used by me... LOL... and i really worry i won't get any wife in the future... for like... seriously ~ but nevermind lar... i still got long long way to go... i always say i'm young because i look like a kid, thinks like a kid and talks like a kid... when i was working on january 2009... some ppl even thought i'm 13.... but actually i'm 18 !! dammit... nvm lar... *talking to myself : young boy, you really have to work hard lo*

- as for working... for now, i can't think of any job that will suits me for LIFE... i love freedom... i like free life... i plan to learn crafting, handicrafts, piano, flutes, dancing, cooking... so many things i would like to learn... if i'm really stucked with a job which able to support me for my living... i dun think i have time for all this... that's why i really wish i can get a housewife for myself, so i could learn all these things together with my wife =) ppl say : you think your wife maid ah?? of course i'm not.... i won't love maid as much as how i love my wife.... and i dun plan to have any maids in the future.... although they can reduce our burdens and we're consider helping an individual or a family... cause they've got their income and dun need to worry for places to stay and the 3 meals/day...

haiz.... too much thinking for my age lar.... i need some rest... blog next time lar =) if you're reading this paragraph, that means you've read all the top ones... and i'm thanking you for reading them... =) appreciate it =) thanks again =)