finally ~

finally, i get to blog bout sg trip, lolz... after i came back from sg, my house connection somehow down... lolz...

bout this trip, i think i learn more than i shop/see leng lui there/relax and enjoy it as a vacation... firstly, we talked a lot bout life experiences and human attitude... which we can hardly see with our naked eyes, unless you faced it.... secondly, there's nothing to shop for ppl like me !! everything is over budget, haha... maybe a lil later after i really worked, then only shop there lor, thirdly, no leng lui to see at all !! walao.... is it my taste really that high meh?? forthly, it's not i'm not enjoying the trip, but i'm having hiccup for the first 2 days, sore throat, coughing, flue, headache for the whole 5 days... walao !!

day 1 - arrived sg at 11pm+, tried to take cab at bus stop, failed cause they have their taxi stand... they hardly pick up ppl from road side... reach home at 1am+ tried some sg food, which i have no comment !! haha... end of day 1

day 2 - had our breakfast nearby, 2sgd only, damm cheap... went sentosa island... the beach was ok~ the ppl there, age 10~13 very cute and funny, 14~18 very rude and rough, 19~28 nicest, friendly, quite good looking and stuff, 29 and above, if they're still there, they're beach lovers... haha !! at the beach, i felt the water flowing, wind blowing's feeling, it's so damm relaxing, just that i'm lacking of stars glowing... or else, it's the perfect relaxing spot....after that, went for a small speech for around 3 hours and 40 minutes.... learnt something bout life experiences also, our view towards our life our career, and lots more

day 3 - woke up very late... went out late and shop around, then met up with some new friends, name priscilla and wei xuan... they're really nice... in fact, they're the most friendly stranger i met... haha, now of course we're friends already.... after chit chatting at kfc, we went clark quay... had our dinner there, the food there is nice... the price there also very nice !! haha... but it's nice anyway... haha !! day 3 ended

day 4 - this is a unforgetable day for everyone !! haha, our brunch is at samy's, an indian restaurant that serves best indian food in sg?? the food was really really nice but they're hot burning spicy food.... haha.... boon and san seng... ehem !! cannot tahan.... after that we went orchard road and walk around.... around 6 or 7 pm, we headed to night safari... hehe... watched a sabah performance.... damm cool... but we missed the animal performance of night safari... nvm, we'll visit again some day some other time... haha...

day 5 - going back day... wake up > eat > shop a while > bus stop... that's all... HAHA

end of the trip, i've learnt so much.... haha

most important lesson i've learnt :

you don't have to see the whole stairway, you just have to take your first step in

my birthday??

i'm glad that it felt like a birthday this year... enjoyed a lot =) but you'll never see me cry of touching... HAHA !!

had a weird week... i felt like i'm tested??

suddenly appear this feeling, i thought *she* like me
suddenly *he* came and criticize me like i'm some kind of rubbish
suddenly we argued, after i off com, straight cannot connect
3 days without connection, i went through my com, i read back those messages, i've realised, noticed
after everything was like finished?? my com is back to normal??

it seems to be so weird... it's like everything seriously happen for a reason....
i was tested how loyal i am
i was tested how faithful i am towards her
i was tested to realise my mistakes
i was tested to learn how to fix my mistakes

after everything were tested, my life is back to normal ??
it seems like nothing happens although so much happened
am i really tested?? that's only for god to know...
but i'm glad, it has a good ending =) yet another starting...

my thoughts... once again...

addidas warehouse sales

Addidas warehouse sales... 29th 30th 31st at Atria 2nd floor, damansara jaya

its business hour is 10am~8pm...but today morning around 8am got ppl camping outside the mall already... and guess what... the field got like 20% empty after 10 minutes or so.... everything is grabbing the shoes, shirt and everything like crazy... they like dun even care for their money or what so ever... i saw ppl buy like rm2000, and the maximum price of an item is only rm120... can you imagine what he bought?? and he bought like dunno how many caps and socks which cost only rm5 per item... cool huh?? sorry to say, if you're going later or this weekend, nothing much left there?? but you can still pay a visit there lar, maybe your taste is different with other ppl then you can get an item of two for yourself lor... haha...

most godly dream i ever had...

i dreamt bout 7 deadly sins....

- Extravagance
- Gluttony
- Envy
- Greed
- Acedia
- Wrath
- Pride

7 of these, standing right in front of me... it somehow shows that i'm having 7 of them within me... and, i'm not fighting them... they're fighting by my side with something else... scary...

count down ~ haha

101 days after today, you'll see me back to SM !!! semenanjung malaysia ~

20 days til ns camp at sabah
81 days at there =)

i will miss whoever i possibly remember during the camp !! LOLZ

jokingz, you guys should know my memory power... =P

hope i can really enjoy the camp without
- lovesick
- homesick
- gamesick
- friendsick
- phonesick and
- facebooksick

haha... hopefully no one will forget who i am after camp ler =P

lyrics again =P translated from japanese

part I
and stain this red sky.
just walk through the coming times with your own body.

people that walk by you and things that get lost in the mess are all memories that will disappear.
violently shaking strength...
transiently wavering weakness...
after all, they'll come to the same end.

such a day melts the red mist,
as the sun rises, the world is stained in crimson.
draw a line as the wind blows you,
tips of hair flowing like water spear the enemy.
forsaken loves and dreams that well up
all i have to do at this moment is to complete the mission with these hands.

and stain this red sky.
just walk through the coming times with your own body.

people that walk by you and things that get lost in the mess are all memories that will disappear.
violently shaking strength...
transiently wavering weakness...
after all, they'll come to the same end.

such a day melts the red mist,
as the sun rises, start coming now,
why do i feel loss and hesitation in my pounding heart?
hurry and break this pain hurtfully dancing in my heart.

the scorched clouds that stain the sky are burnt by the secret wish kept within.
tears fill my hesitant eyes, but i change them into tomorrow's strength.
i've given up everything and have fallen to the ground, where i slay all evil with one sword.
i'll always let the light inside my heart shine,
until i complete the mission with my own body.

partII
choose the moment we share with a throbbing heart...
move forward to the end of time.
i said the phrase "see you tomorrow" ever so quietly.
like the sun shining down on and fighting against everything.
it'd be the agonizing smile filled with existence
if there is one thing to be protected, it'd be your future.

in an instant, choosing this world where it shakes and roars,
i fly through the land of fate...
secretly hiding the flame that lit inside my heart
sharing now and tomorrow with you.

part III
close your eyes, your beating heart is struggling in the fog.
searching aimlessly for where it belongs, all through the day.
there aren't any worlds without pain.
i just want touch it, just want to safeguard it.
i look into the red-stained sunset.

i discovered a new side of me in this meeting.
so, let's start a new day.

am i convincing?? haha

I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

No man or woman is worth your tears, & the one who is, won't make you cry.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand & touches your heart.

The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can' t have them

Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

Don't waste your time on someone, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting & just be more careful about who you trust next time around..

Make yourself a better person & know who you are before you try & know someone else & expect them to know you.

Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

translated lyrics from a mandarin-korean song

release my most mysterious waiting,
stars are dropping, and the wind is blowing,
finally i held you in my heart once again,
our hearts are shaking,
but trust my unchangable truthful heart,
thousand years of waiting, you had my promise,
no matter how many winter we've been through, i will hold your hands.

every night, my heart is hurting through and through
but my thoughts of you has no ending,
i'm already used to lonely life,
but i still face it with the smile you taught,
trust me, what we can do is waiting,
no matter how hard life is, i'll never avoid again
only your gentleness will warm my coldest end.

let love become the only flower in our hearts,
love will go through universe,
never sigh and never give up on this beautiful dream.

love is the only immortal beautiful mystery in my heart.

20th May

another day started like how other days were passed...

3rd attempt walking from blitzone to kelana lrt... this time used 38 minutes... i wonder why... everytime i walk sure got pass by her place... it isn't a passing by road or a shorter road to take... maybe i'm missing her too much and just wanted to check out? haiz... i still pass by even though i know she's not home... now like every girl i see also look like her, i guess i'm seriously missing her too much... just nice 70 days i din see her already... i must last it !! i mean not to last the "din see days" but to last my feelings... til no end cause it was an endless love... lolz...

watched " i love you, man " today at midvalley... that movie ok ok lar.... maybe parts of it i dun understand and i din laugh at certain parts.... ok, end....

after that go ou, supposingly to go out at 8 something but end up 10 something... haha... between that 8~10, i see ppl play pool and bowling at that ou place... seeing those couples play pool... so funny... some girls can't even hit the ball properly.... some guys, they're not really good, but wanted to show to their gf... hehe !! i'm not good either, that's why i'm still seeing how ppl play and improve myself... sometimes i do consult for advices or techniques though... haha.... dunno i got that kind of luck to play with my future gf or not... as pool is 1 of my favourite game... and most probably i'm getting a pool table at home gua... when i'm rich enough lar... cause it's just an entertainment, it's not a need in the list... =) other things come first =)

after that 10 something, me, chun ming, boon, becca, san seng end up in ming tien eating desserts or rather small dishes to have a lil talk and some yum cha session... haha... 1 thing, i think i'm insane... just now when san seng speeding.... becca was sitting beside me... i shouted : gosh~ manda you dun hav seatbelt !! i was like paused.... oops.... that's becca not manda... omg... everyone was like... ehem... maybe i'm missing her too much lor, that's what i said in the beginning... lolz... now i wish the time can pass faster, so i could go ns and relax my mind *i hope so* cause... i'm seriously thinking too much staying at home like this.... gosh... i even thought of the perfect present which combined sincerity, love, money, creativity, and shop... dunno lar, it'll be a surprise anyway... no one gonna knows what is it !! dun try to "seduce" me saying it out... HAHA

what you know bout L I E ??

i meant the cheating kind of lie.... not lie on the floor or bed or table or whatever

definition :
- a false statement deliberately presented as being true; a falsehood
- something meant to deceive or give a wrong impression
- to present false information with the intention of deceiving
- to convey a false image or impression
- to cause to be in a specific condition or affect in a specific way by telling falsehoods

yup, lie is something as stated above... sometimes we think it's good to lie because we dun wan someone to be hurt? but in the end, they will hurt even more... so what can we do?? honest all the time?? that's not the way also... because no matter how honest are you, your words will be doubted... trust me... i've faced that... eventhough you're saying the truth, but there's no one believe in you... how sad was that huh?? but i've learnt... was given a lesson bout lie...

you know... what i used to be?? who i used to be?? ppl who know my past... you should know how i used to be... my life was dark~ i used to lie every single day... almost bout every single happening... but as the time passes... i've learnt to be honest... no matter how hard was it... i'm just gonna be honest... although it might hurt somebody... but in the end, i'm just gonna make sure i cared for them... eventhough it looks like i've hurt them by saying the truth... but i really cared for them... i dun wan them to feel like i can't be truthful to them... honesty might make you feel stupid, but in the end, you'll feel glad that you never lied...

every lie has a flaw... it will be revealed someday... the more you lie, the harder your determination... because when you lie, you forgot bout some of the details... example, 20th april 2009, you went out with a girl name laura, but you told your girl friend it was a guy name john or something... then like 1 day, she ask you again... you said it's lara or something... no matter how hard you try to remember every single lie of yours... you'll fail yourself someday.... you can't remember what/who/how was that day unless you really said the truth... our mentality is something beyond universe... you won't know how powerful it is because it can't even prove by scientist...

to me, i'm trying my hardest to reduce my lies... i know how stupid i was... i'm trying to change it... somehow... i've changed a lot... comparing myself now with the ME 4 or 5 years ago... maybe everything was fated... i was meant to learn things this way... i'm strongly believing that everything happens for a reason...