i've been living with a shadow overhead.
i've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed.
i've been lonely for so long.
Trapped in the past i just can't seem to move on.
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away,
just in case i ever need them again someday,
i've been setting aside time,
to clear a little space in the corners of my mind.
All i wanna do is find a way back into love,
i can't make it through without a way back into love.
i've been watching but the stars refuse to shine.
i've been searching but i just don't see the signs.
i know that it's out there.
there's gotta be something for my soul somewhere.
i've been looking for someone to shed some light,
not somebody just to get me through the night
i could use some direction,
and i'm open to your suggestions.
All i wanna do is find a way back into love,
i can't make it through without a way back into love.
and if i open my heart to you,
i'm hoping you'll show me what to do,
and if you help me to start again,
you know that i'll be there for you in the end.
i really think this movie "Music and Lyrics" is very nice, you guys should watch it. i watched it 1 and a half year ago. now rewatch back, still think it's nice =) hehe
Sunday, August 10, 2008
lyrics from a song that i found romantic.
I changed a bit to make it suits to my life. =)
It's never been easy for me,
to find words to go along with a melody,
But this time there's actually something on my mind,
so please forgive these few brief awkward lines.
Since i met you, my whole life has changed.
it's not just my schedule you've rearranged.
I was living in the past but somehow you've brought me back.
And i haven't felt like this since before Andrea said, Relax.
And though i know,
base on my track record.
I might not seem like the safest bet.
All i'm asking you, is don't write me off just yet.
For years i've been telling myself the same old story,
that i'm happy to live off my so-called former glories,
but you've given me a reason to take another chance,
now i need you despite the fact that you've changed my whole life.
And though i know,
i've already blown more chances than anyone should ever get
All i'm asking you, is don't write me off just yet.
Haha, that's all....it's a short song from a movie called Music and Lyrics =)
It's never been easy for me,
to find words to go along with a melody,
But this time there's actually something on my mind,
so please forgive these few brief awkward lines.
Since i met you, my whole life has changed.
it's not just my schedule you've rearranged.
I was living in the past but somehow you've brought me back.
And i haven't felt like this since before Andrea said, Relax.
And though i know,
base on my track record.
I might not seem like the safest bet.
All i'm asking you, is don't write me off just yet.
For years i've been telling myself the same old story,
that i'm happy to live off my so-called former glories,
but you've given me a reason to take another chance,
now i need you despite the fact that you've changed my whole life.
And though i know,
i've already blown more chances than anyone should ever get
All i'm asking you, is don't write me off just yet.
Haha, that's all....it's a short song from a movie called Music and Lyrics =)
Saturday, August 9, 2008
omg! i'm old ~ ~ ~
this morning something special happened.
but when i reach home and i wanna blog bout it, i totally forgot what happened !!! when it happens, the first thought in my mind was i must post it in my blog. end up i forgot what to post. haha. i no white hairs because i eat lots of fruits and veggie. i'm proud to say no one can eat more than me =) who wanna challenge eating veggie/fruits (note: not all veggie i eat, just 2/3 types i dun eat, fruit?? all DA BAO [100% finish it up mann]!!!! ) hahahaha but i wonder why i'm not skinny or healthy....sobz sobz
really feel boring today eventhough everyone is watching the Olympic 080808. when i look at the tv, i felt boring. nearly fall asleep also. sorry to be "potong" but really not interested. i duno why today is sooooooooooooo boring lar~~~~~~~~~
but when i reach home and i wanna blog bout it, i totally forgot what happened !!! when it happens, the first thought in my mind was i must post it in my blog. end up i forgot what to post. haha. i no white hairs because i eat lots of fruits and veggie. i'm proud to say no one can eat more than me =) who wanna challenge eating veggie/fruits (note: not all veggie i eat, just 2/3 types i dun eat, fruit?? all DA BAO [100% finish it up mann]!!!! ) hahahaha but i wonder why i'm not skinny or healthy....sobz sobz
really feel boring today eventhough everyone is watching the Olympic 080808. when i look at the tv, i felt boring. nearly fall asleep also. sorry to be "potong" but really not interested. i duno why today is sooooooooooooo boring lar~~~~~~~~~
Thursday, August 7, 2008
I was happy for 5 seconds. haha
there's a moment just now~~~
i notice my blog has came alive. from my dead blog to healthy blog.
because last time my blog update for ONE person to read. now i update for everyone.
i was so happy just now when i notice there's a few ppl view my blog everyday/every hour.
but when i thought of what makes me created my blog, i'm down again. ask me if you wanna know more how i created my blog and what causes me to create. blehz but it's kinda sad case la, so dun be surprise if you can sense my depression. emoness. =P
luckily i have friends like you , you and you !!! sorry sometimes if i din bother you or being too harsh. =)
i notice my blog has came alive. from my dead blog to healthy blog.
because last time my blog update for ONE person to read. now i update for everyone.
i was so happy just now when i notice there's a few ppl view my blog everyday/every hour.
but when i thought of what makes me created my blog, i'm down again. ask me if you wanna know more how i created my blog and what causes me to create. blehz but it's kinda sad case la, so dun be surprise if you can sense my depression. emoness. =P
luckily i have friends like you , you and you !!! sorry sometimes if i din bother you or being too harsh. =)
Please learn~
i write it out on my blog not to shoot you or whatever, just wish you learn how to respect ppl. i know it's my fault to say it/type it out, but at least i'm expressing myself. when you read something like this, you always ignore and scold all the bad words or what so ever. you never bother to care bout your own mistake.
ppl ask you to be yourself. but doesn't mean you're doing something bad = you're being yourself, you still have the chance or the time to change it. you always say you know your mistake, but i dun see any changes. maybe you say i'm deserved to be in this way, always not happy, emo, got treated badly. but i really wish you'll learn something. no matter how much i hated someone, i always give a chance. if you dun appreciate it, too bad lo. i also know you've given me many chances, but sadly... i failed to really use the chance. if you're feeling angry or what i dun mind, just wish whatever i'm doing now can make you realise someday.
everything happen for a reason, you're fated to do something or be something in the world. but please try to change the fate, negatiev things/attitude/personalities shouldn't follow you til the end of your life. even our class MAYAT, i'm giving him chance, i dun just scold him and ignore him when he talk to me, i still answer him in a polite way. unless he really got on my nerve like i'm very nice to bully la. everyone deserves chances, so please learn to do something right. =)
ppl ask you to be yourself. but doesn't mean you're doing something bad = you're being yourself, you still have the chance or the time to change it. you always say you know your mistake, but i dun see any changes. maybe you say i'm deserved to be in this way, always not happy, emo, got treated badly. but i really wish you'll learn something. no matter how much i hated someone, i always give a chance. if you dun appreciate it, too bad lo. i also know you've given me many chances, but sadly... i failed to really use the chance. if you're feeling angry or what i dun mind, just wish whatever i'm doing now can make you realise someday.
everything happen for a reason, you're fated to do something or be something in the world. but please try to change the fate, negatiev things/attitude/personalities shouldn't follow you til the end of your life. even our class MAYAT, i'm giving him chance, i dun just scold him and ignore him when he talk to me, i still answer him in a polite way. unless he really got on my nerve like i'm very nice to bully la. everyone deserves chances, so please learn to do something right. =)
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
when someone promised but they actually don't~
i wonder why they must treat me like a stranger??
when they promised you something, they never mark their words
and i hate it the most when they say
1) you no balls ah??
2) you no guts ah??
3) you got *puss see*??
4) you scared your secret other people know ah??
5) you scared she hate you ah??
oh my gosh mannn!!! i tell you guys my stuff is not for you to blackmail me or threaten me
when you promised not to let 3rd person know, there's always 4th or 5th ppl know. that means the time you telling something, you tell them in a group and not individual...that's why you still "keep" your promise by not telling the THIRD PERSON. have you think on my side or think for her??
i like her....so?? must you tell the whole world?? that's why sometimes ppl prefer to keep their own stuff, not to say they dun treat you as a friend but you're not trustworthy!!! when you like a girl, you just HANG IT on your mouth... eventhough you're messaging her everyday everynight, does that means you have chance being her boy friend?? not to be mean but that's the fact. when you like someone you dun need to tell everyone. same goes to me, who i like is my business la, you must spread the news like a news reporter meh?? sometimes you say : how you know?? maybe she likes you le?? but why you din think about what IF she dun like me?? my chance might be high physically, but it's not high at all. sometimes i really feel that you're jealous. or somehow wanna break me down or wan me to malu in front of ppl. have you think for the girl that you like or i like?? when you like someone, doesn't mean she must like you back !! once she dun bother you, you're cursing her like mad, as if she killed your parents or make you mandul, cannot have father's day anymore. when you really like someone, dun expect anything in return, she's still replying consider good d, what else you're expecting?? message you and say she loves you?? wanna marry you?? wanna be with you forever??
i really dun like it when you guys treat this like nothing. it might hurts her or me in either physically or mentally. most of the time ppl EMO because of the surrounding, everyone is so random, morning they promised you something, at night already break the promise. or happy in the morning, at night like exam get 0. why why why!!?!?!?!? why must you tell someone?? if you cannot keep secret tell me la, i won't tell you anymore. dun promise me like you're being the one who willing to listen my problems and concern me or really comfort me when i'm down or whatever. it hurts even more. people is saying you liking someone doesn't mean you must say someone else back right?? because everyone knows you don't care what the girl think or you dun think. that's why ppl around are playing a fool on you. you can just shout in the class who you like. i really care a lot, because i dun wan her to hate me like how the others did.
maybe you're feeling proud, you have guts, you have balls, you're a man, you're a gentleman or you're brave to admit you like her in front of everyone. but did you ever thought of her feelings?? you're liking her is not equals to you're coupling with her. and same goes to me, i'm liking her doesn't mean i'm coupling with her. we can still be friends~ dun try to destroy the relationship please, i'll get a right time to tell her. like the previous case....you still din learn your lesson huh?? she's hating me so much now... because you told her i like her before i tell her on my own. and maybe she's thinking i talk to/chat with/seeing her is i'm trying to get close to her or rather stalking her. now i dun even have the chance to talk to her. it's not i dun dare, even if i talk to her, she got no response at all. what else you wan me to do?? yell at her?? that's impossible. because i know that i like her doesn't mean she need to like me back.
*I PUT MY BOTH KNEE ON THE FLOOR, BEGGING YOU NOT TO TELL ANYONE BOUT ANYTHING ANYMORE. I GUESS I WON'T TELL YOU ANYTHING ANYMORE. BUT JUST IN CASE I REALLY CANNOT FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO TALK WITH. PLEASE REALLY PROMISE ME SINCERELY WITH YOUR HEART AND NOT TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT. PLEASE !! PLEASE !! PLEASE !! I DUN WAN TO END UP LIKE THE PREVIOUS CASES*
when they promised you something, they never mark their words
and i hate it the most when they say
1) you no balls ah??
2) you no guts ah??
3) you got *puss see*??
4) you scared your secret other people know ah??
5) you scared she hate you ah??
oh my gosh mannn!!! i tell you guys my stuff is not for you to blackmail me or threaten me
when you promised not to let 3rd person know, there's always 4th or 5th ppl know. that means the time you telling something, you tell them in a group and not individual...that's why you still "keep" your promise by not telling the THIRD PERSON. have you think on my side or think for her??
i like her....so?? must you tell the whole world?? that's why sometimes ppl prefer to keep their own stuff, not to say they dun treat you as a friend but you're not trustworthy!!! when you like a girl, you just HANG IT on your mouth... eventhough you're messaging her everyday everynight, does that means you have chance being her boy friend?? not to be mean but that's the fact. when you like someone you dun need to tell everyone. same goes to me, who i like is my business la, you must spread the news like a news reporter meh?? sometimes you say : how you know?? maybe she likes you le?? but why you din think about what IF she dun like me?? my chance might be high physically, but it's not high at all. sometimes i really feel that you're jealous. or somehow wanna break me down or wan me to malu in front of ppl. have you think for the girl that you like or i like?? when you like someone, doesn't mean she must like you back !! once she dun bother you, you're cursing her like mad, as if she killed your parents or make you mandul, cannot have father's day anymore. when you really like someone, dun expect anything in return, she's still replying consider good d, what else you're expecting?? message you and say she loves you?? wanna marry you?? wanna be with you forever??
i really dun like it when you guys treat this like nothing. it might hurts her or me in either physically or mentally. most of the time ppl EMO because of the surrounding, everyone is so random, morning they promised you something, at night already break the promise. or happy in the morning, at night like exam get 0. why why why!!?!?!?!? why must you tell someone?? if you cannot keep secret tell me la, i won't tell you anymore. dun promise me like you're being the one who willing to listen my problems and concern me or really comfort me when i'm down or whatever. it hurts even more. people is saying you liking someone doesn't mean you must say someone else back right?? because everyone knows you don't care what the girl think or you dun think. that's why ppl around are playing a fool on you. you can just shout in the class who you like. i really care a lot, because i dun wan her to hate me like how the others did.
maybe you're feeling proud, you have guts, you have balls, you're a man, you're a gentleman or you're brave to admit you like her in front of everyone. but did you ever thought of her feelings?? you're liking her is not equals to you're coupling with her. and same goes to me, i'm liking her doesn't mean i'm coupling with her. we can still be friends~ dun try to destroy the relationship please, i'll get a right time to tell her. like the previous case....you still din learn your lesson huh?? she's hating me so much now... because you told her i like her before i tell her on my own. and maybe she's thinking i talk to/chat with/seeing her is i'm trying to get close to her or rather stalking her. now i dun even have the chance to talk to her. it's not i dun dare, even if i talk to her, she got no response at all. what else you wan me to do?? yell at her?? that's impossible. because i know that i like her doesn't mean she need to like me back.
*I PUT MY BOTH KNEE ON THE FLOOR, BEGGING YOU NOT TO TELL ANYONE BOUT ANYTHING ANYMORE. I GUESS I WON'T TELL YOU ANYTHING ANYMORE. BUT JUST IN CASE I REALLY CANNOT FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO TALK WITH. PLEASE REALLY PROMISE ME SINCERELY WITH YOUR HEART AND NOT TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT. PLEASE !! PLEASE !! PLEASE !! I DUN WAN TO END UP LIKE THE PREVIOUS CASES*
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Regreted ~
haiz, why everyone around is so untrustable?? 1 thing can spread so fast in a day.
trusted them so much but still can't be trusted.
regret telling them.
when someone promise you that he/she won't say it out, most of the time they're lying. sometimes they won't say it out, they go straight to the person you like and ask what they think bout you. omg! stress mann... i'm seriously saying i like someone when i'm talking to you 1 on 1. when there's a group or other ppl, most of the time i'm joking. when i say i dun like it, please don't do it again. =) thank you~
today will be my last day d!! no matter how excited am i, i'm not gonna share any happiness or sadness to those who betrayed me. currently left 3 trusted friends. sobz
i guess they're facing lots of problems also, that's why they're mature enough for not telling out something they not suppose to tell. you think like someone so easy ah?? for some ppl, they can just give up the current one and say he/she likes another person now. i wonder how they do that. i used 2 months to recover and i finally forgot what happened and my mood already turn ok. and start liking ppl again, why always got destroyed by ppl around me?? really regreted of what i've done, which is saying it out. haiz~
trusted them so much but still can't be trusted.
regret telling them.
when someone promise you that he/she won't say it out, most of the time they're lying. sometimes they won't say it out, they go straight to the person you like and ask what they think bout you. omg! stress mann... i'm seriously saying i like someone when i'm talking to you 1 on 1. when there's a group or other ppl, most of the time i'm joking. when i say i dun like it, please don't do it again. =) thank you~
today will be my last day d!! no matter how excited am i, i'm not gonna share any happiness or sadness to those who betrayed me. currently left 3 trusted friends. sobz
i guess they're facing lots of problems also, that's why they're mature enough for not telling out something they not suppose to tell. you think like someone so easy ah?? for some ppl, they can just give up the current one and say he/she likes another person now. i wonder how they do that. i used 2 months to recover and i finally forgot what happened and my mood already turn ok. and start liking ppl again, why always got destroyed by ppl around me?? really regreted of what i've done, which is saying it out. haiz~
Sunday, August 3, 2008
I'm shocked !
i'm wondering why am i so special until those girls i like are special too.
someone just erased me from her world. totally 100% invisible now, even if i speak, i guess she can hear the sound without seeing me anymore.
from the very starting,
1st - don't talk but chat, inside friend list
2nd - talk and chat, still inside
3rd - don't talk but still chat, some list i'm disappeared
4th - don't talk don't chat, totally not in the list
5th - don't talk, don't chat, don't see, don't feel, don't know!
i was glad last friday when she can still hear me. but few minutes ago i just found i'm totally gone and erased from her eyes and world. i duno why am i feeling so pain in my heart, i've told myself more than million times that i'm not gonna care so much bout how she feel, how she's living and etc, but ended up, i'm still caring how she think. but finally, today is the end because i got deleted and sent to the recycle bin. no matter how hard i comfort myself with plenty of excuses, there's nothing to do anymore. friends feel sad for me when they know bout me, some even feel angry that i shouldn't be this way, some comfort me also, but seriously, i'm really useless and i disappoint all of them, who cares bout me~ i guess there's still someone somewhere sometime will care bout me.
or else really no point living on this ball-like earth, spinning and spinning until it stops. earth is not forever, it will stop spinning someday if humans still acting this way. by that time, everyone is gone. no one no where nothing else~ whatever was done in the past millions years will disappear. our life is short if you notice, if you're lucky, you'll have 4 parts of your life, like divided into quarters.
1st - young and cute which you dun hav any problems and troubles....live in the kids' world
2nd - teen stage, which you gonna face lots of problems and face the hardest thing in your life (this is when you choose 1 path between the 2, either the good or the bad cause this stage is the stage you'll get affect the most, smoking, loving, liking or whatever also happen here)
3rd - your working life (where you work and work and work and work to get a better life)
4th and the last - your family, your children have grown up and you're waiting to die by enjoying yourself once again before you die, go vacation, travels around and bla bla bla
maybe i'm not mature enough to face my life, because everyone has their problems, no one can really live on earth without any problems, i've saw my friend fist combat with the father, a son who made his mom cried, a daughter who's quarelling with the father, a son stealing at hyper and got caught by polis, parents fighting using knives, so on~ no one's life is easy
maybe i shouldn't make things complicated. but it's kinda hard for me to make things simple when they actually hard. haiz, everything is beyond my jurisdiciton(a new learnt word, ahah). i can't control them. haiz~ really feel sad when someone was once my friend turn out like this, she has to deny everything that related to me, i din know i could affect that much(not being perasan) but really felt guilty, i should've think with my brain at that moment. haiz~ everything ended unexpectedly and worse than expected. even try to reduce it to the least effect also fail. i'm crapping until i duno what am i typing anymore....really bad mood
someone just erased me from her world. totally 100% invisible now, even if i speak, i guess she can hear the sound without seeing me anymore.
from the very starting,
1st - don't talk but chat, inside friend list
2nd - talk and chat, still inside
3rd - don't talk but still chat, some list i'm disappeared
4th - don't talk don't chat, totally not in the list
5th - don't talk, don't chat, don't see, don't feel, don't know!
i was glad last friday when she can still hear me. but few minutes ago i just found i'm totally gone and erased from her eyes and world. i duno why am i feeling so pain in my heart, i've told myself more than million times that i'm not gonna care so much bout how she feel, how she's living and etc, but ended up, i'm still caring how she think. but finally, today is the end because i got deleted and sent to the recycle bin. no matter how hard i comfort myself with plenty of excuses, there's nothing to do anymore. friends feel sad for me when they know bout me, some even feel angry that i shouldn't be this way, some comfort me also, but seriously, i'm really useless and i disappoint all of them, who cares bout me~ i guess there's still someone somewhere sometime will care bout me.
or else really no point living on this ball-like earth, spinning and spinning until it stops. earth is not forever, it will stop spinning someday if humans still acting this way. by that time, everyone is gone. no one no where nothing else~ whatever was done in the past millions years will disappear. our life is short if you notice, if you're lucky, you'll have 4 parts of your life, like divided into quarters.
1st - young and cute which you dun hav any problems and troubles....live in the kids' world
2nd - teen stage, which you gonna face lots of problems and face the hardest thing in your life (this is when you choose 1 path between the 2, either the good or the bad cause this stage is the stage you'll get affect the most, smoking, loving, liking or whatever also happen here)
3rd - your working life (where you work and work and work and work to get a better life)
4th and the last - your family, your children have grown up and you're waiting to die by enjoying yourself once again before you die, go vacation, travels around and bla bla bla
maybe i'm not mature enough to face my life, because everyone has their problems, no one can really live on earth without any problems, i've saw my friend fist combat with the father, a son who made his mom cried, a daughter who's quarelling with the father, a son stealing at hyper and got caught by polis, parents fighting using knives, so on~ no one's life is easy
maybe i shouldn't make things complicated. but it's kinda hard for me to make things simple when they actually hard. haiz, everything is beyond my jurisdiciton(a new learnt word, ahah). i can't control them. haiz~ really feel sad when someone was once my friend turn out like this, she has to deny everything that related to me, i din know i could affect that much(not being perasan) but really felt guilty, i should've think with my brain at that moment. haiz~ everything ended unexpectedly and worse than expected. even try to reduce it to the least effect also fail. i'm crapping until i duno what am i typing anymore....really bad mood
Existence??
haha
someone made me felt dead in the past 1 year
but
someone made me felt i'm very special in the past 1 week =)
really need to pack up my emotions and feelings already.
someone made me felt dead in the past 1 year
but
someone made me felt i'm very special in the past 1 week =)
really need to pack up my emotions and feelings already.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Omg, what a bad day~ T_T
sob sob sob, everything doesn't go well today, what i've planned doesn't go like what i've planned. i think i'm managing kinda well but still need others' assistance. haiz~ my mom was too busy until she forgot to put my bag in her office =(
i'm late for 40 minutes!! for the 1st tuition and late for 30 minutes!! for 2nd tuition..=.=" 1st tuition was late because i'm waiting for mom's staff to come back and let me take my stuff from the car and he fetched me there but there's a jam so i'm late lo~ haiz haiz haiz 40 minutes, miss out how many things mann... the 2nd tuition!! OH MY GOSH!!!! me and my friend took a cab and we got conned !!! ss2~ss17 which the track around 3km cost us RM7 !!! my friends took a cab from curve ~ ss17 also RM6.80 only...grrr forgot to take down the cab number! guys, becareful when you take cab, if the price raising fast, either stop instantly or ask for the reason. just now my friend ask the cab why the metre running so fast he cannot answer, end up he charged us RM5 !! it's obviously a scam already!! haizz, so unlucky today
that's all i guess, a short and simple post bout my luck today, haha.....laugh with all you want if that would makes you happy =P
i'm late for 40 minutes!! for the 1st tuition and late for 30 minutes!! for 2nd tuition..=.=" 1st tuition was late because i'm waiting for mom's staff to come back and let me take my stuff from the car and he fetched me there but there's a jam so i'm late lo~ haiz haiz haiz 40 minutes, miss out how many things mann... the 2nd tuition!! OH MY GOSH!!!! me and my friend took a cab and we got conned !!! ss2~ss17 which the track around 3km cost us RM7 !!! my friends took a cab from curve ~ ss17 also RM6.80 only...grrr forgot to take down the cab number! guys, becareful when you take cab, if the price raising fast, either stop instantly or ask for the reason. just now my friend ask the cab why the metre running so fast he cannot answer, end up he charged us RM5 !! it's obviously a scam already!! haizz, so unlucky today
that's all i guess, a short and simple post bout my luck today, haha.....laugh with all you want if that would makes you happy =P
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